And I’m staring at this mouldy ceiling, wondering whether any story will start outside of the room. The paint was ripping and the dust was settling in but you found art in all of the flaws, made meaning from all of its brokenness. I wonder whether that was why you saw something in me, because when you found me, you saw how I could be put together.
Maybe that was why I kept you near. Maybe that was why when time came, you didn’t leave like Winter but you left like a spring.
It’s not the same. Something has changed. There’s a glow, a wash of warmth that I didn’t remember seeing before.
I guess this is the face of freedom.
It’s frosty today.
Fog clings onto the glass of the bus and the blur of colours sweep by outside, shades of green, white and the occasional hue of opposing cars.
Who would’ve thought that fond memories could be relived here, that the hint of love could be exchanged on a pane of frosted glass?
“When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let go. Surrender all attachments to people and things that you have been struggling to hold on to.”
– Iyanla Vanzant
The space between us was going to grow, that much I knew; so much so that even if we were to sit next to one another, we’d just feel miles apart. Words would flutter between the empty space, taking roundabout ways to reach the ear. By then it’d be distorted into things we’d rather believe.
Only now do I realise the absurdity. Believing in your own independence when your daily dose of happiness was hooked to them… You don’t depend on anyone. Smell the scent of florals from the breath of your own making.
I hold comfort in these words, finally trusting that it was the right choice and the right time to throw in the towel.
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”
Sometimes glimpses are just enough to stir something inside of you.
There’s a beast we try to tame inside all of us and moments like these ignite its repressed desire to be let loose. Afterall a cage was never fit for any beast, least of not, the beast that quietly resides within us.
You’d told me before that one decision could completely change our lives. One step off the pavement could lead to a fantasy come true, all you needed to do was to make that step. With you shining the light in the crack, I felt it once again; I felt the enormous power of potential and the lurch of a moving heart. It makes you think that if only you wished it, one day you could really have it all.
Alice: How long is forever?
White Rabbit: Sometimes just one second.